Say Goodbye

Autumn Thoughts

I have trouble saying goodbye, not to people. . . I think I’m good at that. But to objects;  like my orange library card with the metal stamp. Clothing, my black cocktail dress (it still fits), mush cards from my son, and Martha Stewart Magazines.

 The above photo was snapped from a Halloween issue.

There was a time, when I traipsed through the woods to find and assembled something like that. Well, it never came close, but had a lot of dried stuff.

 In Florida, that is not happening.

The alternative is to thumb through the magazine, and I do so, happily.

Autumn is short lived in Florida. There is no raking of leaves, then jumping into the piles.

I still hear the children laughing.

Remember. . .this was called fun.

The Christmas hurry up will begin Thanksgiving day, or November 23rd, and like it or not. . . my world will turn red, and green.

 I’ll have to say goodbye to the golden colors of fall.

 I’ll tuck Martha’s magazines away, take out the past Christmas issues, and go into the woods to cut our Christmas tree.

… Seriously just saying

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Alphabet Series The Letter N

Photo by Ichad Windhiagiri

The New Normal

Who knew this would be the new normal

Toes that no longer wiggle, giggle or dance, they sleep

Then suddenly cry, “Sudden leg syndrome is attacking my feet.”

Hands that can’t twist open a door

Or flip pages any more

Kitchen tops decorated with items I don’t want to forget

A part of my brain

Ridge in thought

Like stiff knees reluctant to bend

Grey cells will not receive or send

Exhausted and depleted

Comfort myself with food Mama cooked best

Meatloaf and mash-potatoes

Gives my cerebellum a rest

So, what if I forget to lock a door, a date, a score. . . and more

I’m old, invisible, and small

Don’t fret_____ explore!

Close your eyes, remember your youth and come with me

Imagine places we have never been before

                                                               . . . Seriously just saying

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The Alphabet Series The Letter M

I wrote Minutiae in 2013, so ten years ago and remember seeing a woman who reminded me of myself walking. The rest of the story. . .well was pure fabrication. Minutiae means little things, details or nonsense. Today, October 11, 2023 the minutiae in my life is overwhelming. My husband was hospitalized last week, and the follow-up care is detailed and unbelievable.

We are both 75 years old, and we have been married 52 years. My husband has survived pancreatic cancer, and now has prostrate cancer, again. He has no pancreas, spleen, gallbladder, appendix, or thyroid. Recently, he has added some devices, and now has a pacemaker, watchman, insulin pump, and a nine inch rod in his arm because he scattered his humerus bone!

However he does have full head of hair and all his own teeth. As a member of the medical community commented; “He looks better in person than on paper.”

He was admitted for Metabolic Encephalophy and in need of emergency treatment. After two nights and three days in the hospital the doctors said they could find nothing else wrong with him, and the alarming indicators has retreated to normal.

My conclusion; his body needed to be rebutted and reset to his default settings.

Needless to say writing played second fiddle to the shenanigans.

Minutiae

Traffic on Granada Street was light.  An intense Florida sun warmed the car’s interior and made the steering wheel hot.  My plan was to leisurely drive home along the Tomoka River, when a young woman walking caught my attention.  She could have been me forty years ago, her long oval face and golden blonde hair looked so familiar.

Circling the block for a second look, I saw she wore a lively yellow and tangerine colored sundress exposing the right amount of skin.  Spaghetti straps tied in bows relaxed on her shoulders.  The dress was vintage hippie.

I parked, got out of the car and stood in the shade.  In the distance, she sat on a bus stop bench, her straight back and firm chin taken for granted, a slouch bag at her side, intriguing me.   I approached her directly, “Excuse me, can you tell me where Found Treasures Consignment Shop is?”  It was a ruse.  I had been there the day before to leave clothing and knew the exact location.

Looking up, she smiled and repeated my question, “Found Treasures Consignment Store?  Sure, go across the street and see that alley between the buildings?  She raised a hand wearing a mood ring and pointed. “By the Oak tree there’s like a narrow path that like…. you know what; I’ll show you.”

Closer, I saw freckles on her nose like I had.  Her platform sandals looked comfortable and practical. Her toenails painted cherry red.  She looked stylish, as I remembered myself to be.

“That isn’t really necessary.”

“Oh hush, I love that store.”

“Thanks, I’m fairly new to Florida and never sure where I’m going.”

“Me too, I’m like forever lost.  Where are you from?”

“New Jersey, I retired and moved here two years ago.

She came to Daytona for bike week and met her boyfriend.

“You know that show Jersey Shore?  You know that guy Mike, “The Situation”?  That’s who my boyfriend looks like, only he’s got bigger muscles.”  She chewed gum and blew a pink bubble announcing, “No way was I going home.  He’s like not the one, but it’s cool.”

The traffic was heavy now. We stood on the sidewalk waiting for an opportunity to cross. Standing in the hot sun, my mind wandered to the time I was her age and realized how lost she was.

A yellow corvette exceeding the speed limit created an opening in the traffic.  She looped her hand through my elbow and we rushed arm and arm across the street.

Standing on the cracked sidewalk, she turned to face me, patted my thin windblown hair in place, and asked, “Did I tell you I’m going on tour with Tony Bennett?”

Tony Bennett, the singer?  I thought her too young to know a favorite of mine.

“Yes, THE Tony Bennett! You know cause of Daytona’s Music Festival, he, well, Mr. Bennett was performing at the Peabody.”

“Ms. Witch”, my friend Michelle, that’s what we call her cause she’s nasty, we’re like playing Beach Volley Ball and there’s this fight. Witch got into it, scratching, and pulling hair, using the F word and the N word.  I got my tanning lotion and walked away.  Mr. Bennett’s daughter, Toni, saw the whole thing.  She liked me, like right away.  Said I had character or something.  Like, she just gave me a backstage pass.  I started hanging around, helping, and now we’re going on tour.  You know, he’s not Lady Ga Ga, but it’s cool.”

We arrived at the Consignment Shop and opened the door.  A tinker bell jingle announced our entrance. Women’s cast off clothing, many with designer labels packed the shop.  Displayed on the walls were glass necklaces, teardrop crystal pendants, and Swarovski pearls.  Coordinated outfits in shades of green, their potential enhanced by pink accessories, were arranged on hangers.

“I love this stuff.  Look at this.”  She wrapped a four-inch wide black plastic belt with a rhinestone buckle around her waist, shook her head, and returned it to a rack.”

“Minutiae,” I mumbled.

“What did you say?” she giggled.

“Minutiae, little stuff, the details of life.”

“Mi-nooshee-sha, I love that word! What does it mean?”

“Small, insignificant things that don’t seem to matter, then do.”

“Oh, my God! I’m trying this on.”  She exclaimed and slipped into a dressing room carrying an old dress of mine.

It was made of rich black crepe fabric.  The neckline flowed off the shoulders leaving a v shape in the back. Two panels buttoned creating a peak-a-boo above the waistline of a pencil thin skirt.  Its hem had hit the crest of my calf.

“I’m buying this.  It’s like the perfect dress!” she said emphatically outside the dressing room, twirling, as I had done, her blue-green eyes so young and true. I smiled remembering that pleasure of certainty.

“You look great in it.”

She did. I felt light-headed as a wave of emotion cascaded through me.  I had worn that dress to a friend’s wedding, a business conference, and my fortieth birthday party.  “Do you need shoes?”  I asked reminiscing about an elegant pair worn with the dress.

Tasteful, is how to describe them, the heels not too high, the straps not too tight.  I kept them. They were barely worn.

“I got black flip-flops.”

At the cash register, she counted six singles and forty-two cents turning her head with perfect range of motion to ask, “Do you have children?”

“A daughter.”

We left to say goodbye.

“It’s been cool meeting you.”  She said hugging me.

Happy my dress would be going on an adventure, but not wanting to give my secret away, I hesitated then whispered, “Don’t live your life in regret.”

I strolled toward my car, looking back.  The late afternoon sun filtered through the oak trees creating a shadow on her diminutive figure and the sun’s glare caused me doubt she had really been here, while my wedding song, “We’ve Only Just Begun,” played in my head.

. . . Seriously just saying

Related articles

The Alphabet Series the letter L

L is for Loquacious

The lazy lizards, lingered and forlorn

Lumbering like low lying Lilliputians.

Lewd and loquacious

Lobbying for levitation

Their legal elected official motivation, much more.

It is a mouthful.

… Seriously just saying

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J Is For Junk Drawer

 

Marshall says, “Every Man Needs a Junk Drawer

 My husband, of 52 years, walked into the kitchen and asked, “Have you seen my what-ch-ma- thing?”

I knew exactly what he is talking about because he had on glasses and was holding a plastic tube of wood glue.

“You wanted the who-GA-ma-call-it put back together, and I need it.” He stammered and shook his head; his eyes focused on a ceiling corner in an attempt to retrieve the information.

I relished his sputtering, because earlier in the day our discussion about his health ended with him yelling,  “You’re right, you’re always right, but you can’t make me do it.” And me leaving the room to avoid a fist fight.

He followed me with comments about who was right versus wrong, and smashed his toes, which hung over the front of his slippers, into the floor molding; and consequently hipped hopped about, flamingo style, scrunching his face like a shriveled prune and swearing, . . . shit. . . shit. . . shit.

I gave him no sympathy.

After rubbing his toes, he blurted out the real issue, “Why can’t we have a junk drawer?”

Yes, you heard right, we do not have a junk drawer. I am philosophically opposed to the concept and wonder why people accumulate items, they do not want and have no need for; useless items, that fill a complete kitchen drawer.

“We have managed for fifty two years with out a kitchen drawer bursting with rubbish. Why would you want one now!” I yelled back.

“Marshal says every man needs a junk drawer, all the guys have one, I’m the only one who doesn’t.”

“Marshal says? Okay,. . . You want a junk drawer,  for things you have no use for but, want to keep just in case. I get it, and what would you put in this drawer?” I asked.

“My who-Ga-ma-call-it, golf balls and golf tees, I don’t know, STUFF!” He answered.

“Don’t you keep golf balls and tees in your golf bag? And the what-ch-ma-thing is in your tool box.”

“You’re right, you’re right, I hate it when you’re right!”

                       . . . Seriously just saying

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Wikipedia definition, “A junk drawer or junk-drawer is a drawer used for storing small, miscellaneous, occasionally useful objects of little to no (or unclear) monetary value, and possibly significant sentimental value. Junk drawers are often located in residential kitchens, but they may exist anywhere with cabinetry or furniture used for storage, including home offices or workshops, and even commercial workplaces and businesses. The phrase “junk drawer” appears to be an Americanism dating to the early 1900s.”

Impossible

 

Photo by Steve Johnson

The Alphabet Series I is for Impossible

I is for Impossible in the Alphabet Series. There are many fabulous words beginning with the letter I­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­. Words like; impromptu, improvise, improbable, and imply to name a few and therefore it was difficult to choose.

Then I woke-up today and have a crazy habit of reminding myself of the date, day of the week, and how many days are left in the year. Well, there are only 113 days before we say goodbye to 2023, and hello to 2024. And that’s where impossible became first and foremost in my mind. Impossible, as in never or slim to none chance of happening.

 Yet how did it happen! How could I possibly be seventy-five years old? It’s not my birthday, or even my birthday week. My birthday is in June. But every day since then I’ve lamented the impossibility of being this age. I could approach this impossibility with an attitude adjustment. Is the glass have full, and I’m lucky to be alive, or half empty, and holy crap; I’m done with the good years?   

Since I work well towards a goal, I’ve decided to reach 80 (that’s only 5 years away), so let’s make it 90 which is fifteen years away and not be wearing diapers. It’s not impossible  

                                                                                         . . . just saying

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Metaphor Dice

TEACHER WELL WORN SONG BIRD

Metaphor Dice is a game by Taylor Mali to help students and writers be creative. It is reasonably priced so I bought a set, one for myself and one for my college bound granddaughter. You can play as an individual or as a group. Toss the dice and build a metaphor, or rearrange for something more.

For example:

  • My teacher is a well worn song bird.
  • A song bird is my well worn teacher.

Now write a story or poem.

Ms. Feathers was my seventh-grade music teacher. Her face was well worn by years of students who called her catbird, not behind her back.

Or a poem: SONGBIRD

A songbird is a teacher

Well worn by its flight

Singing of travels

A musical delight

Taught life lessons during solo flights

Stopping here and there to spend the night

It’s a journey

Never finding the meaning of life

. . . Seriously just saying

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Never Gaudi Pop-Pop

Photo by Mehmet Turgut Kirkgoz on Pexels.com

Gaudy is a word I heard as a child. My mother used the adjective to describe styles not to her liking. Designs she considered garish, ornate, flashy, kitschy, tasteless, vulgar, and extravagant. Our neighbor’s orange velvet sectional is a good example. The French Provincial Couch covered in plastic stuck to the back of your thighs in the summer and cracked when you sat in the winter. The iridescent fluted fruit bowl filled with shiny fake red apples and ornate oranges that decorated their dining room table was in my mother’s words, “poor taste.”

She told me “Gaudy is derived from an eccentric architect, famous for constructing some God-awful cathedral in Spain.”

The true impact of the word is captured by a visual of the works of  Antoni Gaudi, the architect. As an adult I was fortunate to visit Barcelona and view the site she talked about.

Gaudi, born in 1852, is famous for his elaborate ornate architectural style. The Sagrada Familia has been under construction since 1882 and expected to be completed in 2024. That is a 142-year project funded by private donations.

My mother knew about Gaudi but learned her sense of style from her father, Achilles DeSalvo, Pop-Pop to me.

Called Charlie, and never trendy, faddish, or snazzy, he knew how to dress.  His family owned a tailor shop in Manhattan called DeSalvo & DeSalvo.

I loved him dearly.

Summertime, Saturday morning, Pop-Pop would take the Long Island Railroad to the Westbury station. He arrived wearing a blue seersucker suit, straw hat and spectator shoes, an afternoon addition of the Herald Tribune under his arm.

He wore cuff-links and his nails were polished.

We waited with great expectation for him to remove his suit jacket, and get comfortable in a chair. Surrounded by his four grandchildren he would unwrap one Mounds bar for us to share.

But the best was yet to come.

Concealed in a breast pocket was a cigar.  The cigar ban was presented to one of us and worn as a ring, for the day or week…depending on how long we made it last.

We never moaned or complained. We stood with hope and felt his love.

My grandfather got me my first real job at the Plaza Hotel.

Occasionally he would say, “Meet me on the northwest corner of 55th street and Madison on Tuesday at noon, and we’ll go to lunch”. There was no follow-up phone call, email or text; it was nineteen sixty-eight. I met him on the corner. Nothing ornate, flashy, gaudy, or extravagant about his love. It was genuine. His style memorable.

                                                                                         . . . Seriously just saying

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Trash Talk

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Go To Your Room

 Remember when you hated peas and you did what your mother told you? Along side of Eat what is on your plate, children are starving in China; was If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.

 Little did we suspect the declarative statements were precursors to waste management and bullying. I never cared for being slapped in the face, going to bed without supper or sent to my room, and abide by the assertions which have remained in my head.

Where am I going with this?

Well tonight is the first Republican presidential debate, and I’m wondering how much trash talking there will be.

The debate will be aired to a select audience and streamed. Trump will NOT debate; however, he will sit for an interview with Tucker Carlson prior to the debate with his fellow contestants, oops, candidates.     

In the past the atmosphere has been one of character assassination with the promise of debate of the issues.   

What do you think will happen?

                                                                                         . . . Seriously just saying

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The Alphabet Series

Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

D is For Disappear

D is for disappear as in the New York Times Best Seller novel, “Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn.

Nick and Amy Dunne, two out of work New York City writers, move to Nick’s childhood home in North Carthage, Missouri when they learn Nick’s mother is fatally ill.

Nick is a journalist.

Amy writes surveys or opinion questionnaires, e.i., Which of the following will lead to personal happiness.

A.  Caring more about others than yourself

B.  Discovering a passion

C.  Exercising and eating well daily

D.  All of the above

Nick persuades Amy to invest the last of her Trust Fund in a business for him and his twin sister, Margo. They name the bar, “The Bar”.

Amy disappears on their wedding anniversary, and Nick becomes the prime suspect.

However she didn’t disappear, she’s hiding.

Gillian Flynn has written a plot driven novel that I read quickly and was reviewed favorably, but I could have put the book down easily. The twisted ending was a turn off for me. The movie also has the same distortion of love, or love gone crazy ending. I like happy endings.

“As The Washington Post proclaimed, her work ‘draws you in and keeps you reading with the force of a pure but nasty addiction.’ Gone Girl’s toxic mix of sharp-edged wit with deliciously chilling prose creates a nerve-fraying thriller that confounds you at every turn.”

Amy’s disappearance is not to vanish, perish or cease to exist. Her vanishing act is one of revenge and dysfunction, concocted when she discovers Nick’s infidelity. Victimized and  bamboozled Amy plans to get even and does.

I can imagine the survey/questionnaire Gillian Flynn might ask readers to take about her character, Amy.

What makes this character happy?

A.  If you can’t have the one you love make sure no one else can either.

B.  Make everyone who hurts or disappoints you suffer for the rest of their lives.

C.  Inflicting pain on others is key to personal happiness.

D. All of the above

The author, Gillian says “she was not a nice little girl,” and “Libraries are filled with stories on generations of brutal men, trapped in a cycle of aggression. I wanted to write about the violence of women”

“The point is, women have spent so many years girl-powering ourselves — to the point of almost parodic encouragement — we’ve left no room to acknowledge our dark side. Dark sides are important. They should be nurtured like nasty black orchids.”

Have you read the book or seen the movie?